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 The web can be a strange place. Luckily, Dr. Kokonuts, your Off the Wall administrator, is a little crazy and likes strange things. Like the many corners of the galaxy, the Internet also holds the biggest surprises in the places surfers fear to tread. Off the Wall, our weekly feature publishing every Tuesday, takes you to the parts of the WWW you were never meant to see. What are you waiting for? Email Dr. Kokonuts your Off the Wall Web sites! |
September 9, 2008
 | Oasis' Noel Gallagher attacked onstage
Honestly, how many of us haven't imagined ourselves attacking someone from Oasis? All the better if it was onstage. The Gallaghers must be the smuggest rock brothers out there. I saw them perform outdoors in the rain a few years ago at the Ampitheatre, and let's just say I left the show that night feeling like the band owed me some money. Crazy Toronto fan took a little retribution on behalf of everyone who was standing around wearing a rain slicker while watching Oasis completely mail in a performance that we were charged $60 to watch.
To their credit, Oasis finished their set after the attack, and probably haven't ever felt more like rock stars in their lives. Stupid Gallaghers!! They're just the real life Driveshaft!!
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 | The Stickya Adventurya farting game
For anybody who's ever even glanced at Off the Wall, you're fully aware that Dr. Kokonuts is a great fan of potty humour. That will never change. This Stickya Adventurya game (just click "Play this game" to have it launch in a new window) puts you in control of a three-dimensional stick figure (an oxymoron that'll make a bit more sense when you play the game) who travels through a bunch of different game boards, like Mario Bros. and a million other games. The only difference is that your stick man is armed only with his flatulence, which makes the game much funnier than anything Mario did.
P.S.: I played Super Paper Mario last year for the Wii, and I was shocked and delighted by how many jokes the game's programmers made about Mario's 'stache. It's worth buying a Wii just for that. (Actually, the Wii has turned out to be the biggest money pit in the history of expensive electronics that I don't play very often. Anybody want to buy a Wii?) | |
 | Little Gordon Ramsay at the high school cafeteria
I watch Hell's Kitchen, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, and Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, American Edition (although it's clearly inferior). It's pretty safe to say that I'm a Ramsay mark, and in whatever way he makes money by getting people to watch his shows, he's got mine. It's also pretty safe to say that if you have no idea who Gordon Ramsay is, you're not going to "get" this comedic clip of him as a little kid. But if you do follow the TV career of this great chef, there's no doubt that you'll find this video of him freaking out as a little kitchen helper at his school cafeteria utterly hilarious. At the very least, you'll consider it to be moderately amusing. At the very, VERY least, it won't be the biggest waste of time you've experienced today. I hope.
(Note: you can access the entire Little Ramsay catalogue by clicking on the right side of the page.) | |
 | 17 unbelievably expensive gadgets to fit the ultra luxurious lifestyle
I love gadgets! I know a lot of people might say that, but I really love them. If I was a millionaire I'd spend all my money on [take out] buying everything that appears on this list (and that can only happen if you forward every TV Stevie article to 100 of your closest friends, or post it on Facebook, or mail me cash...and even if all that happens, I still probably won't get my hands on a hovercraft...sigh). At the moment, I'm leaning towards getting The Dry Water Massager. That is, as soon as I've located $29,500. It's been a while since I checked under my couch cushions and car seats. Because you never know, you know? | |
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